Hey all, long time no see.

So. I am writing this even though I shouldn't. I am dying. I know it. They know it. I don't want to.

Long story longer... lol.. where does this start? I was born in rural missouri to a laborer and a 40 yr old mom, who could sew rings around most. After working at a garmet factory, she focused on the kids. My dad was borne in 1929, and had to quit school after third grade, when his mom burned to death after stoking a woodstove. Reading and learning is what he instilled in me. "Once you learn something it can NEVER be taken from you" was his lifelong moto and he continued to read and learn, until his death a few years ago. See his miliatry funeral here http://youtu.be/Na1EZEjcL0g My mom was the same, born to a german family in 1926, she faced many obsticles during the early twentieth century wars. Her one saving grace, she read. She learned.

My articles of the past, hopefully, have showed how much education was a focus on me.

I now lie at a crossroad. One that can not be crossed lightly.

I no longer am working.

I am in daily pain.

I know that something that is 100% curable, will kill me, slowly.

I rural missouri, where I was raised, I loved my childhood, I loved my parent, I loved my life. I lived until 1975 in a place where we had no indoor plumbing. We had an outhouse up the hill, and a pump for well water. I know, I am supposed to be angry and hate it. But I do not. It was what it was.

I find myself in this year with so severe tooth infections that I know they will lead to my demise. I am angry. I have lost my job ( woul you hire someone with only one tooth left on top an very few on the bottome to teach your children)? what angers me is this. I am unemployeed. Mostly due to having to miss work, because I have such severe infections, and tooth pain.

I am now on "medicaid" as AZ will have it. AHCCCS. and CANNOT get my teeth pulled or helped. I have been to an urgent care,ER or doctor more then 15 times in the last two years... and they will pay for that. antibiotics until I feel better. That is all, so much more then it would cost for me to have my teeth removed, get dentures, and go back to work.

It seesm easy to me. I just need my teeth pulled.

dentures.

That is all.

Not 8 different antibiotics in a year and drugs that wont work for the pain. How is it cost effective for medicaid to do this? if my teeth were done, gone, dentures. it would all be over, and I could think about going back to work. The way it is now.... not a chance. ]

I loved teaching kids, I loved working in the library. I loved instilling reading on the next generation.

But it is gone